The return of the attention to the ‘beyond’ the sense of ‘I am’ brought a blast of what has been so far created around the idea of this individuality. In a blink of an eye, the ideas of past, present and future which existed until now around this individuality blasted in nothingness. Nothing was needed anymore! Just that touch with the Reality broke the links with any future life-idea creation. There was fullness and completeness experienced in that one second. Nothing else was needed or was ever going to be needed. The pinch of salt melted in the fullness of the ocean. There was an unshakeable realisation that every idea or thought of ‘I-ness’ were just thoughts. The attention turned again into That inexplicable non-phenomenal state or being which no words can express its nature. And that touch with fullness was for eternity! Everything else was just a thought wrapped on different layers of coloured ideas, from the subtlest to the grossest.
Nothing was anymore needed! What a freedom! What I really am is eternally free and full of everything. Even the most sacred desires disappeared. No more samadhi or experience of the infinity of this idea-creation; there were no more attraction even to these five star desires. All of them automatically disappear from this Touch. What can you ever desire if you are full of fullness? You can experience life as a play and you play as it comes for the sake and joy of playing, but you know it is just a play because you don’t need any thing.
And in these moments, words disappear as well because nothing can really describe this state, the mind or attention has returned to the source and merge with it so what is there able to put any label or description to it?
And the realisation comes that nothing done until then, nor practices or disciplines, brought your attention back to the Source. Maybe there was a saturation of attention exploring for lives and lives the creation and at the end it returned and took rest in the Self? Who is there to give an answer to this? No one. Life without this awareness seems now dull and dry because Life is You and You are That. Not the individual separate idea of the ‘I’ self but the ever present, beyond phenomena, indescribable ever present Presence.
This is a moment of rest, this is a moment of rest in my real Nature, where this 'I' comes from!
